Whoever is trying to pull you down is already below you. —Ziad Abdelnour
Recently, I have been using a wheelchair to get around school after my femoral osteotomy surgery. It’s been hard in a very different way than when I was walking. I have lost a lot of independence. Though I can propel myself using the wheels, it’s not the same.
I have felt insecure lately, mostly because of being in a wheelchair. There have been times where I stood up and I heard whispers behind me because of the scars on my legs—but using the wheelchair has made me feel inadequate.
For one thing, I am much shorter than everyone else sitting in my wheelchair. People have to look down to talk to me, which makes me feel less-than. Many people don’t see me coming. But sometimes being invisible to other people isn’t the worst thing.
This week I got a comment I never expected. I was wheeling in the crowded hallway when I heard a boy behind me. “I want to push that wheelchair girl,” he said to his friend. His tone implied he meant something much less innocent than the words that came out of his mouth. I turned around just in time to see the look on his face—and I wish I hadn’t. The look was disgusting.
He wasn’t seeing me at all—he was seeing someone shorter than him, someone who couldn’t do something that he could. And so he chose to objectify the wheelchair—objectify me.
I am not my wheelchair. I am not “the wheelchair girl”. And I certainly don’t need the implications of a boy I don’t even know. That is such a limited mindset, to just see a girl in a wheelchair.
I know that comments like that happen every day. And it shouldn’t be allowed to happen. My first thought after the boy said that was to turn around and roll right over his feet. All-consuming anger filled me, and I felt the urge to do something. I felt so low, just letting him say that to me without doing anything. I felt like I was powerless, just a girl in a wheelchair, which was what he wanted me to think. But I didn’t roll over him. I kept rolling down the hall. He wasn’t worth it. I was better than that.
I am no better or worse of a person than anyone else because I have CP. People shouldn’t consider me less of a person because of my disability. If they do, well….. There’s no way to change people. Other people are not in my control. Lately, especially, there is a lot I don’t have control over, like my wheelchair, but I will always be in control of my actions.
Objectification of anyone is never okay, but people with disabilities especially have enough to deal with. If humanity is dark enough to objectify disabilities, then I honestly don’t know what to say. I am very frustrated by this encounter.
No one is above me just because he or she can walk better than I can. That’s not how it works. A person should be defined by the content of their character. Everyone should get the chance to show that they are more than their circumstances. We all deserve that chance.
I—and all people with disabilities—deserve to be able to take up space without being objectified for it.