Different

Wouldn’t it be amazing
If I walked in the door
and didn’t have to worry anymore
About the teasing,
The stares, the titters
What if it didn’t matter
How I walked
or I talked?

The same for the little boy in class
Who stumbles and falls
Who picks himself up
as everybody laughs.
What if it didn’t matter?

The silent boy
who gazes into space
Not understanding a word
That anyone says.
What if it didn’t matter?

And for the smart one
Who doesn’t mean to show off
but can’t keep her words inside
Anymore.
What if it didn’t matter?

The same for the girl
Who finds herself friendless
Who finds herself “different”
What if it didn’t matter?
‘Cause we’re all different.

So why don’t we accept
each other
For who we are
On the inside
AND on the outside?

Camp Dream Street

This summer, I went to overnight camp for a week at a camp called Camp Dream Street, a camp for kids with physical challenges. Camp was challenging for me. My family and I are very close, so it was hard to be away from them for that long. Also, I have a lot of anxiety, especially at night, because I can’t shut my brain off to fall asleep. There are too many thoughts buzzing around in my head that make me feel a certain way.
   On the other hand, camp was just plain fun. It was also really accepting—I don’t have to worry about anyone being mean or staring, trying to figure me out. My differences don’t get ignored—it becomes a positive thing about me. Instead of, “Hey, why do you wear those AFOs?”, at camp the comment is, “I really like your AFOs. They’re really cool.” I get to meet other kids who understand me and my perspective on being different. It’s a really amazing experience.
  Also, I get to focus on what I like there—arts and crafts, horseback riding, swimming. It isn’t hard to do these things at camp, even though it sometimes is hard at home. The counselors like to help, and they don’t act like it’s a really big deal to help you.
  The people there are some of the most positive people I’ll ever meet. They have their challenge, and instead of dwelling on it, they’re like, “OK, now what?” That is how I want to be.
  Camp is a really positive—and awesome—experience. I can’t wait to go back next year!

Elevator Embarrassment

My cerebral palsy is mild and invisible unless people look at my feet, which turn in most of the time.

My school allows anyone with temporary injuries (broken arms, broken legs) or people with challenges to ride the elevator.
I was tired, so I walked over to the elevator and was about to press the button when a voice startled me.
“Hey!  Didn’t you know that the elevator is for handicapped people’s use ONLY?”
I was flustered, but I didn’t think she deserved the explanation that I had cerebral palsy and sometimes used the elevator when I was tired, so I held up the elevator pass on school ID badge and said, “I have the principal’s permission.”  She nodded and let me go.
That made me nervous even though I knew how to handle it. My sister was with me, and I was a little embarrassed that she had heard that. She gave me a sympathetic look.
Please be nice to people and think about how words affect other people.People will be grateful, and you will save them from hurt feelings and allow them to keep their dignity.

What I Want People to know about Cerebal Palsy

     It's true that I have a disability, but I don't think of cerebral palsy that way. The word "disability" means "a physical or mental condition that limits your abilities".  I don't think that cerebral palsy limits my abilities. In fact, I am given insincere comments because of cerebral palsy that helps me to be sensitive to other people's feelings.
     Anyway, even though it is polite not to stare, I don't want anyone to avoid looking at me completely. I wear braces, also called ankle foot orthotics (AFOs), and it would really be nice for someone to look me in the eyes rather than at my AFOs. Or you could comment and say, "Those are really cool."
     Even though the comments that kids give me help me to be sensitive to other people's feelings, that doesn't mean I like them. So many kids say that I run slowly, but I wish they would focus on any of my other traits or interests rather than my physical success.
    And, if you were my friend, I'd like to talk with you about something other than cerebral palsy.  If you said, "Caroline, I'm interested in learning about Cerebral Palsy, can you tell me a bit about it?"  Then sure, I'd tell you some things.  But what happens instead is, people don't speak carefully and say, "Why do you walk different?"  So instead of being able to educate someone, I feel I have to defend myself, like as if walking differently is a bad thing.
     I don't like to be singled out, if I want to play jump rope, for example, I feel like an alien if you'd said, "Oh go SLOW so she doesn't trip."  I know it can be a kind gesture, but when someone changes the game because of me, I feel like a one-eyed dragon.  In other words, I feel different from everyone else in EVERY WAY.
    These are the things that I wish people knew about how I feel about cerebral palsy.

Anti-Bruises

SUMMER! Yes, it is summer, finally! Summer means lots of things to me, like no more waking up early and no homework. But it also means---
1. NO MORE INSENSITIVE COMMENTS
2. NO MORE BRACES
3. NO MORE FALLS
4. NO MORE P.E.
     Often, when I start school, thoughts like, "Wow, how many comments am I going to get?" and "Am I going to trip on the first day of school?" race into my mind. But with summer, I never have to worry about any of that. With most kids, they don't think about the things on my "What Summer Means to Me"list.
But it's true. This is what summer means to me.

Our Field Trip

Today we had a field trip.  My mom came as a chaperone and helped me on the bus. We went to the state capital.  I saw the House Of Representatives ' room and also the Senate's.  We got to go to the very top and looked down below us. It was cool.
     We travelled to the museum, too.  We had a scavenger hunt.  It asked questions about history.  We found the answers all over the museum.  We ate lunch on a picnic blanket.  There  were lots of stairs we climbed, but it was a fun field trip.

Being Treated Differently

Do you ever wonder what to say when people exclude you, but they intend to be nice?  They say,"Oh, don't let (someone) play that game.  She can't run, and she will get hurt."  I feel like, oh, even if I get hurt, let me have a shot at it.  If I get hurt, I'll get better soon and try again.  With jump-rope-ing, the same thing happens.  I trip over the rope and girls at school say,"Oh, there she is, so go slow so she won't get hurt."  Yeah, well, my braces don't slow me down, so I can do anything anybody else can.
Sometimes I say, "Why won't YOU fall, too, if I do?" and they don't answer and look uncomfortable. So I am still puzzled on that one.