Do you know what one of the greatest gifts when going out in public with a disability is? Tolerance. I’m sure almost anyone who is disabled will back me up on this. Everyone who has a disability will have different struggles in public depending on the type and severity of their condition, but I’m not exempt from people’s insensitivity just because my cerebral palsy is mild.
I’ve learned just how important tolerance is on the part of other people through my experiences over the years. One example is the stares I would receive when going to an amusement park. When I was younger, I used a stroller in the amusement park so I didn’t get tired as quickly. Because nothing appeared visibly “wrong” with me, many people stared as I was wheeled past. So many people would stare that I felt like a freak show. That just goes to show that many people have an intolerance to anything or anyone who is different.
The frustration and almost fascination people had with me and my disability worsened because I—like many others with physical challenges—was able to go to the front of the line for rides so I wouldn’t have to stand in line for so long. So many adults stared and glared at me and my family that I eventually decided it wasn’t worth it to skip the line.
Which brings me to my point—tolerance from the public is a very valuable thing. When I was in Tennessee, my family and I decided to hike to Cataract Falls, which is a waterfall near the Smoky Mountains. The hike wasn’t long or strenuous; it probably wasn’t even a mile. That sounded like a perfect fit for me, so off we went.
There was a lot of tree roots on the ground and uneven terrain as we walked, so I walked very slowly and carefully so as not to trip. I had also twisted my knee before we went on vacation, so overall I was moving a lot slower than usual. My dad was holding my hand to stabilize me, and because there were people behind us, we moved aside so they could pass.
As the people directly behind us passed, my dad and I stood in front of a bridge waiting to walk forward. Unfortunately, there were also people who wanted to get on the bridge and just weren’t patient enough to wait.
“Excuse me,” one guy said from behind us. At this point my dad and I were sandwiched between groups of people and had nowhere to go.
“Can you please wait just a second?” my dad asked because again, we couldn’t move forward.
“If you would just move over we can still pass you,” the guy muttered.
“What the **** is taking so long?” I heard from behind me. “This is ****ing crazy, man.”
My face burned with shame. In that moment, all I wanted was to magically be like everyone else—fast enough to keep perfect strangers from cursing at me in public to go faster.
As I got a little distance from the situation, I realized how miserable someone would have to be to curse at a teenager holding hands with her dad on a peaceful hike, regardless of whether my CP is visible or not. It’s rude to curse at anyone in public; let alone someone who is obviously somewhat struggling. The whole thing was so ridiculous I would have laughed if I wasn’t so shocked.
As I told my friend the other day, the fact that some people act this way means there is a need to educate. I’ve wondered what I could have done differently to prevent the escalation and my answer is: I don’t know that I could have done anything. I could have worn my knee brace, but when people see that I can walk they still aren’t very tolerant. And to be honest, I shouldn’t have to “prove” that I have cerebral palsy just to earn people’s tolerance. I don’t think consideration is too much to ask for.
I have a right to enjoy my vacation just like anyone else. If I walk more slowly than someone would like, they can take the opportunity to slow down and enjoy nature a little bit more. It won’t—or at least it shouldn’t—ruin people’s day to go just a little bit slower or to wait for just a second.
I wish people understood that it’s not easy for me to walk on uneven ground. I wish people thought about that I’m a person, too, and doing things in a way that is not accessible is hard. I wish they saw the bigger picture and that while they may have to tolerate waiting for a few extra seconds, I have to tolerate pain and insensitivity on a daily basis.
So please, if you encounter someone with a disability in public, be tolerant. Know that your life will not end if you have to wait a little bit longer. Don’t start cursing in frustration; I promise we’re probably more frustrated about moving slowly than you are. Thank you for your consideration.