I realized today, on National Cerebral Palsy Awareness Day, that this day is for both people who have CP and the people who don’t.
I am aware of cerebral palsy every day.
My CP is mild and nearly invisible, but that never makes it invisible to me.
I am aware of cerebral palsy in the way I move. Every step I take, it’s there, waiting for me to feel it. When I go from a sitting to standing position, my cerebral palsy moves right along with me. I can feel the spasticity in my muscles, reminding me that CP is my lifelong companion, like it or not.
And sometimes…I don’t like it.
I went to see my counselor today. Somehow, we were talking about cerebral palsy, and she said, “You know, I don’t think your disability is the most interesting thing about you.”
I said, “Thank you.”
She looked at me sadly. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me, “The only people who tell me ‘thank you’ for not thinking that something about them is interesting are people with disabilities.”
I sat quietly, letting that sink in for a second.
She continued, “If one of my clients is a lawyer and I tell her that I don’t think her job is the most interesting thing about her, she would be offended.” She looked me directly in the eyes and said:
“You’re not offended, and that crushes my heart a little. Your disability is sometimes like a curse that hangs around you, and sometimes it’s all people see. I’m guessing you’re relieved that I don’t think your disability is the most interesting thing about you.”
I hadn’t ever thought of it like that before, but she was right.
I admitted, “My CP is a blessing, but sometimes it feels more like a curse.”
There are times on my worst days when I wonder if I did something wrong in a past life to be given CP. I still have insecurities. Most days, though, I am able to tell myself that everything happens for a reason, and I was put on this Earth with cerebral palsy to help others.
Why am I saying this on Cerebral Palsy Awareness Day? I guess to make the point that I have lived with cerebral palsy my entire life, and while I am aware of it every day, I am not fully aware of its emotional impact on me.
CP Awareness Day is just as much for those of us who live with CP as it is for the people who don’t. While it is important for us to remind people that cerebral palsy exists in different forms, it is just as important to be aware of our mental health surrounding CP.
My counselor helped me see that while I celebrate Cerebral Palsy Awareness Day, maybe eventually I can embrace my cerebral palsy for all that it is. My CP helps me empathize with others and to understand who I want to spend my time with. Cerebral palsy can show me the beauty of humanity; sometimes I just have to be patient to see it.
I am slowly understanding awareness of my cerebral palsy, and it is my hope that I spread awareness through advocacy. I’m still working on being aware of CP within myself, and then I’ll try acceptance.
Wherever you are on your disability journey—whether someone you love has CP, you do, or you’re still trying to accept your cerebral palsy—happy National Cerebral Palsy Awareness Day. 💚