Climbing Higher

 It’s been a really tough year—for all of us. It has been different than all other years before. In fact, for those of us not born this year, it might be one of the worst years. I’ve had some personal things happen this year, and then the coronavirus pandemic hit. That’s why I was half relieved, half disappointed when I found out I still had to get my shots this year.

These shots I have to get are not “normal”, twelve-year-old shots. The needle is filled with a medicine called Botox. It is made to loosen muscles. As far as I know it can loosen almost any muscle. Botox is used from a comestic standpoint as well as to treat muscular disorders such as cerebral palsy. I have gotten Botox since I was three years old. Back then, it was so painful that my dad had to hold me down across his  lap. I screamed and cried so much that one of the nurses around me started crying, too. 

I get Botox twice every year now, so while I am not used to it, per sé, I know what to expect. It still hurts, but because I get it so regularly, it represents normalcy. Almost no part of this year has been “normal” for me—and most likely, it hasn’t been normal for you, either. It might sound weird that I consider getting six shots in my legs twice a year “normal”, but I’ve never known otherwise. Some kids get shots just at their yearly checkups, if that; I don’t. I do get shots at those yearly checkups; I just don’t mind them. My point is, some of these normal things have made this year a little more tolerable. 

So now I am looser and ready to have an open mind. Who’d have thunk that botox would have affected me like that? That’s 2020. 

So let’s climb higher with our open minds. What are the things that challenge us? Why do those things affect us this way? Is there anything good about those things? What motivates us? 

Botox is one of my challenges. Getting looser is one of the things that motivates me. How about you?

Friendly Fire

 Sometimes—most likely—you’ll find friends that you really like. But sometimes, unfortunately, they won’t know when they are being hurtful.

This is what happened to me. Me, my sister, and two friends were playing a game. It was an athletic game, one where you needed leg strength—which I struggled with. We paired up to play the game, me with my sister, and my two other friends paired up.

“She wouldn’t be a good partner for that,” my friend—the one that I was closer to, actually—said with a glance at me. She then quickly added, “No offense.”

One, the words “no offense” don’t help after someone has said something hurtful. In fact, it might sting even more because afterwards when you might be angry or upset, your friend might either not understand or be defensive, claiming, “I said no offense.” Yeah, you did, but it offended me anyway.

What I learned is, if your friend just tends to say whatever pops into her head, eventually someone has to tell her to be careful with words. So, if it’s you who tells her, then 1) it is most likely someone she respects and 2) you might tell it to her more gently than someone else would.

But if your friend persistently makes insensitive comments even though you advised her not to, then she might not be your friend.  Secondly, if she hurts another one of your friends, then you might have to choose.  My friend that made insensitive comments is now only my acquaintance. But the friend she hurt is a true friend. I know how hard this is to accept. My experience was really challenging at the time, too. In the end, after two days where she did not speak to me, she apologized and things are okay now, but they really aren’t the same as before—like I said, she is now an acquaintance, as much as I hate what happened. 

So, if your friends are being insensitive, don’t wait to tell them that it hurts your feelings. I did wait, because I’m not the kind of person who likes conflict. But in the end, it wasn’t me who incited conflict—I told my friend how I felt, and in the end, she listened.